The Welsh prince, full of bravado, landed at Mann to relieve the besieged Irish populace at Castle Mann. The Scots, seeking retribution for a disastrous Irish invasion of the Strathclyde, had been laying siege for months now.
The Scots elected to attack the Welsh Prince as the tide was out, keeping the Irish army on their boats all day.
King Malcolm III and the Eachernthiergna (Horse Lords) rode from left to right across the front of the pagan enemy encouraging his clansmen and thegn warriors forward from their traditional place of honor on the right of the Scottish line.
A dispatch of Scottish light horse fell to the javelin ambush of the Welsh psiloi, but the ensuing highlander charge drove them to the safety of the hillsides leaving the mounted Prince of Wales to face them in a stand off.
As the Prince of Wales vacillated across the field from the ferocious clansmen, Malcolm III and his horsemen slammed into the ranks of the Welshmen.
Inserting themselves between the water and the Welsh left flank, Malcolm's horsemen and thegns rolled up the befuddled and helpless Welshmen. Ignoring their pitiful cries for mercy, the Christian Scots dispatched thousands of the pagans and the fields of Mann ran red with blood. [Here your editor will interject the observation that, of course, the Welsh are all good Christians too, intent on slaughtering their neighbours to the greater glory of God.] The Welsh prince fled the field, leaving the Gracious Bishop of Villanova de Popecki to negotiate safe conduct for the Welsh camp followers and store of rarebit.
The main Scottish shield wall, watched the battle while eating cheese and drinking wine (again?).
Viewing this from the Castle of Mann, the besieged Irish, out of children to consume, surrendered to the gracious King Malcolm III, whose thegns shared their ales and venison with the wraiths who were once a thriving populace.
Let all take notice, it was the Irish who landed upon the coast of Scotland only a few months before. The gracious King Malcolm III welcomes the crowns of Wales and Ireland to call Him overlord and live full and pleasant lives free from the scourge of conflict and fried Mars bars.
Malcolm III
Rex and Nice Guy
All lies, of course, Cynan ap Hywel is a king (no princes until after the Normans demanded it a good 100 years later). And the Scots, hanging out with pagan Norse, are the ones whose Christian credentials are in doubt.
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